now and then

life use to be more easier...more lax..more carefree..more fun..
more of everything that is not now...

sometimes...i just wanna stay young...no,wait, retract that...i wanna go back in time and stay there until im sure that now is a good chance for me to come back...yah, i want it that way...like now na...as in...now na...please...

******
rico: sha, sha, sha!!! hoy...pang doseng tawag ko na sayo...ba't nakatunganga ka dyan..ok ka lang?

sha: huh? hmm...ah..wala..im not in the mood..don't feel like talking..

ces: baket?

rico: hmm...pagod ka ba?

ces: kanina pa yan ganyan sa skul...tulala...naka downer ata yan eh..

sha: grabe naman..hindi noh, just don't feel like talking..

ces: anong feel mo?

sha: wala just wanna sit here, ayoko nga makipag usap eh, i don't feel like drinking, don't feel like chatting...i just wanna sit here and think...masama ba?

rico: gaga ngayon ka nalang lumabas at sumama samen,emote ka pa dyan..

******
futile na etoh...

futile na...sobra...

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sometimes i see myself, like on trance...i just stare in space...sitting on a corner, trying to understand the thing i am watching on t.v. but having the hardest time to concentrate, laugh on joke, smile on funny moments...just on trance...

nagsseperate na ang soul ko sa body ko...ano kaya ang ibig sabihin nun...
sana kung ano man..sana..masaya..magiging masaya na ako...sa masayang lugar...

******
rico's in deep shit...his planning on going somewere...to think...

i suggested a road trip...nowhere in particular, just roadtrip...

for the longest of day, i finally made sense...a roadtrip...

and im going...

he wan't to go back to puerto gallera...

i said sure...when

ces is always game....

we only need another buddy to feel the vibe...

jomelle was out of the question, not unless ces is willing to assist her when her water bag broke...

who...who...

we haven't decided yet...but the plan...its a sure ball...

puerto gallera, here we come...

for once...ill do something carefree...and i want too...

******
i saw the waiter who looks similar with noel...i felt a pinch on the heart...

i miss you friend...

wherever you are, i hope your happy..please do save a sit for me, maybe someday we'll see each
other again...

******
i use to think, the reason you died, is because of me...

noel: don't worry sha, kausapin ko yun, malakas ako dun eh, mapapauwi ko sya...maaayos din kayo...

yah...napauwi mo nga...naayos din nga...mas lalo pa atang lumabo...and the sad thing is...you just had to die...

everybody knows it noel...druex, ces, sir gani, ayeck, jomz, bong, redz, and im sure your tito knows it...they all said the same thing to me, during your wake...
"lakas mo talaga kay noel, kita mo napauwi nya si insan nya...ginawa nya para sayo"

i never wanted you to die noel, i never asked you to die for me, for him, or for us...hindi ko sinabi na you need to die, para maayos kami...but you did it anyways...=(

honestly noel, i think, it was all so futile...it didn't change anything...you died thinking that it'll be the chance for us to be okey again, you died thinking that you did me a favor...no noel, things haven't turned the way you planned it to be. things never will, i think...

so, wherever you are...i hope your listening, reading this...wherever you are..thanks for trying...
kaso...dapat you knew...you can never play with free will...

im sorry you had to go...because of us...

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i changed mind...i don't wanna stay here and wait..not now...
i don't wanna wait...

i just wanna go...move...somewhere...anywhere...

i have too...

im not happy here...not anymore...

=(

******
i don't wanna have a reason to be angry for feeling all this pain...

im going...

******

hector: ano schedule for holyweek?

sha: kelan ba yun, 3rd week?

hector: im not sure...pero i think 3rd week nga.

sha: i won't be around...i have plans for holyweek...

hector: what plans?

sha: i have plans...my plano ako mag suicide sa week na yun eh..

hector: hahahah...yours so funny without even trying to be funny...

sha: what being funny? im not joking around noh...isisp ko pano magsuicide ng hindi ako ang pumapatay saken..oo nah!homicide yun!

hector: basta ill see you nalang sa grad party ni norma, ill bring your icecream..postpone mo muna suicide o homicide attempt mo...mag outing pa tayo eh..

sha: cge nanga...ill see you then..

******
choice
choice
choice
choice
choice
choice
CHOICE