Saturday, February 9

Diary of a whimpy GIRL

Jan. 28
Don't think I don't notice that when I enter a room, either you sit farthest from me or you go out.
Don't think I don't notice that you'll rather hang  out with her in a same room than with me.
Don't tell me I'm being paranoid when I see her flirting with you. And don't pretend you don't notice her flirting with you.
What is wrong with you?
What happen to you?
and most importantly, are you that dense?

you are making me turn into a woman I never wanted to be.

Jan. 29
I'm not saying change but at least try harder. For freaking sake, try harder!
If you really love me like you say you do, prove it.
words are just words, I need action.
or else better let me go.
because I can't do this anymore.
I can't subject myself to this suffering, I just can't. I'm too tired. Too freaking tired.

I'm not saying smother me with affection or PDA during work, all I'm saying is make me feel secure.

Jan 30
Everybody else already thinks I'm the pathetic girlfriend whose weighing you down. Everybody already assumes I'm the bad guy in the picture. Can you at least pretend you acknowledge my feelings and that you don't feel disgusted being seen with me. At least pretend.

I'm already labelled the girl who ruined everything. The girl who didn't deserve this job. The girl who bad mouthed the girl with cancer. Everybody is already ganging up on me. The least you can do is comfort me, make me feel that everything is going to be alright, and not to tell me its all my fault.
I want you to be sorry, like you keep on saying your sorry.

Jan 31
Things I do that irritates you:
kissing your ears
touching your lips
me crying
talking to you in public
saying I'm your wife
running my fingers on your torso
soft kisses on your body
my cold hands
when I ask you a question
when I talk to you at work with non work topic
talking to me

Feb 6
When I say "I LOVE YOU" and you reply with a "luv u" and I say I only hear the "u" and you go on and explain that your sleepy and all that. The explanation is longer that the answer I wanted to hear back.

You have more pictures of her on your phone than of me and of me and you.
You freak out when I touch your phone.
You never reply or answer my call.

When she is around, either your irritated with me or you don't wanna be caught talking to me or being in the same room with me. Its like BAWAL MAGING HAPPY when she is here, but when she is not, your the same guy I fell in love with.

You are not over her and I don't think you will ever get over her, the fact that you get to see her everyday just makes things even worst. Like relieving a never ending dream over and over again. And you being not over her, makes me not get over her.

You notice that your happy now?
smiling and laughing even with me on the job. So much more different when you can't even look at me and acknowledge my good job. Do you notice it? coz I do.
And it makes me wonder, is this behavior gonna last long? or am I gonna suffer again after a month?

Feb 7
Today is not a good day again.
First you shoved me in bed and when I try to hug you, you move. Then at one point you kicked me during your sleep.
Even in your dream state your rejecting me.
Ang hirap mo mahalin
Its very tiring
hot and cold, you are hot and cold
and your making me crazy.

Feb 8
I kiss you and you automatically say I'm busy.
I caress you and you say I wanna sleep.
I want a real kiss, not a peck on the lips and it irritates you

All this is hurting my ego
making me feel so ugly and unsexy.

There was this time that you can't get your hand off me and we kiss more
Now we only have awkward silence between us...

I don't want a relationship like this
I didn't sign up for this shit.



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